Why does this read like something from The Onion? Awful writing style for a legitimate article.

That's The Register, around in its current form since 1998.

I agree. This article very much reads like The Onion. Though, mostly just the quotes.

Though, contrary to the sibling comments, I've never noticed that before when reading articles there

That's El Reg's voice.

The API url is still accessible, but perhaps reduced to just show the first name.

Funnily enough someone there has the user id 666..

Well, it is a human number.

I love bobdahackers work. Always a treat to see.