Thank you for the honest story. I've also been there. The huge panic attack is how my anxiety issues started. I lived for years with the cosntant fear of death, that I'm going to be damned and that the whole world will collapse.

At some point it went away. Maybe by itself, maybe thanks to SSRIs, but the fear, while still lurkinng deep in me, is hardly noticeable anymore. What's left is just random anxiety and an aversion for long-term planning. I just can't do it. I spent years thinking my life is about to end, and as a result I made myself unable to think many years forward. A coping strategy that is hindering me now.

And I agree. This state was Hell. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy as well.